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May. 10th, 2010

Open your eyes

(no subject)

Almost fooled by trumpery...
Except your path
Was bound by thorns...

Such a fool I was...
Mistaking reticence for devotion...

I rage. I seethe.

Within these eyes swelters ire...
A thousand panes of glass tremble and burst...
Air is pierced with a shrill timbre...

I rampage. I lash.

What have you done?
It was never enough...

In the end we will be free...

Fake.
False.
Charade.
Mistake.
Liar.
Abandon.


Inconsequential: you.




Can't

(no subject)

I was lead astray...

Let the wind take those pretty words,
Let the absence descend.

Softly now...

Don't glance back.
Easier to escape this way.

Silent parting...

No words remain.

May. 6th, 2010

Open your eyes

(no subject)

Do I want something I cannot have purely because I cannot have it, or is there a reason behind my desire?

I desperately want to find the answer.  I feel awful: constantly feeling uncertain. 

Is this merely me drowning in my own selfishness, again?  Am I insidiously making issues complicated when they are simply trite?

Apr. 16th, 2010

waiting

(no subject)

Err. This describes me a little TOO well... I would exult if it were true. Yes, exult.

http://add.about.com/od/adhdinadults/a/WomenADHD.htm

Apr. 9th, 2010

lil' sinner

A Toute le Monde.

Stop jerking me around, seriously.

From errant children to career fairs with districts not hiring... I have had enough.

What can I do? Shout madly at this shallow life AND be cliche. Nothing more.

Falling in and out of love... my path was never and has never been a straight line.

***

Moreover, I am confused. I will leave it at that.

Also: I should post more often.

I have no other way to vent.

How sad is that??

Mar. 11th, 2010

Kitty Scream

(no subject)

So often, words fail me.  (Yes, they put a giant F on my papers.)  Words certainly are imperfect, but I wish I had the ability and the inkling to speak (or write) more of them.

For now, I shall flail, grasping madly at...

...thought disconnect. My coworkers were discussing lay vs. lie.  "The student laid down on the table." vs. "The student lay down on the table."

Of course "The student lay down on the table." is correct. Whatever the student laid down on the table we are not privy to.

Now that the drama-fest has passed, I can move on...

Here is a list of rhetorical questions I have been pondering:
  • How do you stop thinking about someone you should not be thinking about? You merely stop.
  • How do you take risks when anxiety floors you?
  • How do you begin when each step is second-guessed?
  • How do you break out of a rut? (really, a rut is too shallow to describe this quagmire)

Feb. 21st, 2010

Me?

(no subject)

I am watching Adventureland. I can't figure out if I like the movie or not, but the soundtrack is pretty awesome. 

 A dinner party with my friends sounds fun.  The image of us sitting around a table enjoying a meal together, drinking wine/mead, and conversing makes me happy. :)

That is all.  Aren't I simple?

Feb. 20th, 2010

Open your eyes

The hollow one.

I rage against the futility of existence.

A trite concept, I know, but what more can I do?

My lot is my own doing. I blame none but myself.

Sad? Hardly. I chose this path.

Oct. 19th, 2009

fly

Rambles

I wanted to share my excitement about finding a web page that gives me an answer to my carry-on luggage questions: http://boardingarea.com/blogs/flyingwithfish/2009/01/22/airline-carry-on-baggage-templates-does-anyone-measure-them/

Yay.  The pictures make me happy.  I will be able to tell as soon as I get to the airport whether I need to check my luggage or not.  I am hoping Jesse and I won't have to check any of our baggage.  It would be so wonderful....!!!! I loathe checking bags.

Oct. 4th, 2009

fly

(no subject)

The past few weeks have been horrendous in terms of my health.  The flu, a cold, a sore throat, and now a sore tooth have been plaguing me. I haven't felt like myself for awhile... and I feel like I am stuck at the bottom of a pit with extremely steep sides: no way out. 

It will pass; I will feel better.  My tooth will get fixed, even though I am dreading the dentist visit.  And my other ailments will heal in their own good time. However, living in the now, this moment, is wreaking havoc on my emotions. Bloody tooth pain. >.<  

I did make cupcakes today, though. And found a part-time job (no hours listed) at the Portland Audubon Society that I am planning on applying to. =D  And my new CDs came in the mail yesterday.  Now I am waiting on my smelly stuff from Bath and Bodyworks. =D Oh and I must order skidelf 's birthday present before I forget. =D

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